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| It was delicious. |
I suppose to say there's been no training isn't entirely accurate. It would probably be more accurate to say there's been no training I want to talk about. It's been sporadic at best; I haven't had any stellar runs thus far and have failed miserably at all but one long run attempts.
In thinking about why this has been such a god-awful experience for me I've come to this conclusion: I do not want to run a marathon. I'm not happy running the distances necessary to prepare my body for a 26.2 road race, so I can't imagine actually running a 26.2 mile road race will be different. Ask me why I signed up for a marathon in the first place and I'll tell you it's because I felt like I should.
I can't quite explain it because it's not as if anyone has directly stated I need to run a marathon. I guess it comes more so from being friends with a lot of runners, most of whom have run marathons. It's easy to feel this unspoken (and unintended) pressure to join the club. I just wish joining was as simple as ordering a marathon medal from Ebay and wearing it everywhere.
I also have to consider that I've set and accomplished other running goals so, on some subconscious level, I feel like a marathon is the next logical step. It's kind of a silly notion, especially considering I'm not really a runner, but I imagine it comes from the innate human desire to never stop moving onward & upward. Even though I'm not happy doing it, I can't seem to stifle this urge to improve upon my last accomplishment (which, for the record, I consider to be the half marathon I ran nearly one year ago).
All this rambling is how I find myself here: not really wanting to run a marathon yet not being able to throw in the towel. It seems a bit dumb for me to force myself along because of some self-fabricated sense of obligation, but that's exactly what I'm doing. I have no doubt if I do go through with it, it will not be a fun experience.
Maybe by saying that I'm condemning myself to misery or maybe I'm simply being realistic so as not to feel discouraged when it turns out it is miserable. I just hope I come out all the better for it, no matter what happens. And if I should find myself in possession of a non Ebay acquired marathon medal, you better believe I am going to wear it everywhere.
